Have you ever struggled for something and failed? How did you respond? Have you experienced a feeling of disappointment and dissatisfaction of yourself?
I hated seeing that B- every time I went on Netclassroom. It was a constant reminder of my failure. I felt like a failure, after all, I had worked harder on that Experiential Math and Science report than I had ever done before. I spent hours going over it, trying to word my information right. I've never worked that long on a writing assignment, not even for English. My reaction was instinctive. I was angry. I didn't see how writing an essay format-type report was ever going to help me, or anyone else for that matter. Why couldn't we just write all the information down in bullet points? Wouldn't it be more sensible and practical for me or anyone who wanted to read my report? I then realized who was at fault. My teacher, or so I thought. He was a Math teacher. He had no right grading my writing. I hadn't ever thought of him being that great at English, and I found it unfair that he could grade me on something that he didn't seem good at either. My reactions changed. My anger and blame was thrown upon so many different people and factors, except me. I guess I didn't want to believe that I hadn't produced a good piece of work after all the effort I put in. My whole perspective changed after I had a meeting with my teacher. We went over my work, and I read it again. My work wasn't great, it wasn't good, it was very... average. I read it again and one by one, I could see everything that my report was missing. Ultimately, I was to blame. I hadn't felt that bad in a long time. I saw no point in working during that class anymore. I didn't want to change my paper for a better grade. I was scared that attempt would in the end, be futile. I've always found it hard to deal with disappointment, and I didn't want to deal with it now. My mind was swimming with "what if?" questions. "What if?" questions are always complicated, and the possibilities are always scary. What if my actions will lose me a great opportunity? What if I study for a test but my grade doesn't improve? This moment of disappointment helped me overcome my fear of "what if?", not a lot, but just enough to get me through this problem. I've decided to do my report again, because not taking a risk in this situation would be the biggest mistake I could make. My word document is open right now and I'm doing my report again. I don't think I'm going tot be disappointed this time.
I hated seeing that B- every time I went on Netclassroom. It was a constant reminder of my failure. I felt like a failure, after all, I had worked harder on that Experiential Math and Science report than I had ever done before. I spent hours going over it, trying to word my information right. I've never worked that long on a writing assignment, not even for English. My reaction was instinctive. I was angry. I didn't see how writing an essay format-type report was ever going to help me, or anyone else for that matter. Why couldn't we just write all the information down in bullet points? Wouldn't it be more sensible and practical for me or anyone who wanted to read my report? I then realized who was at fault. My teacher, or so I thought. He was a Math teacher. He had no right grading my writing. I hadn't ever thought of him being that great at English, and I found it unfair that he could grade me on something that he didn't seem good at either. My reactions changed. My anger and blame was thrown upon so many different people and factors, except me. I guess I didn't want to believe that I hadn't produced a good piece of work after all the effort I put in. My whole perspective changed after I had a meeting with my teacher. We went over my work, and I read it again. My work wasn't great, it wasn't good, it was very... average. I read it again and one by one, I could see everything that my report was missing. Ultimately, I was to blame. I hadn't felt that bad in a long time. I saw no point in working during that class anymore. I didn't want to change my paper for a better grade. I was scared that attempt would in the end, be futile. I've always found it hard to deal with disappointment, and I didn't want to deal with it now. My mind was swimming with "what if?" questions. "What if?" questions are always complicated, and the possibilities are always scary. What if my actions will lose me a great opportunity? What if I study for a test but my grade doesn't improve? This moment of disappointment helped me overcome my fear of "what if?", not a lot, but just enough to get me through this problem. I've decided to do my report again, because not taking a risk in this situation would be the biggest mistake I could make. My word document is open right now and I'm doing my report again. I don't think I'm going tot be disappointed this time.
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